Often times, I am annoyed by the Church.
Yes, you heard me right - I am, at times, undeniably annoyed by the Church.
But after the anger and strong sense of annoyance simmers down, I realize that I’m unfairly projecting my anger onto the whole Church instead of specific things within an imperfect body or institution.
A lot of people look at me with this incredulous look when I say things like this, but I’m actually thankful when I have these bouts of annoyance and anger because it reminds me that though I am part of the body of Christ and technically ‘within the walls of the Church’, there have been countless times that I have also felt so outside of the Church, so judged and condemned when all I wanted was to just feel the presence of God in all of His perfect love. While people may judge me for my moments of anger, I’m comforted by the fact that as I talk to so many of my non-Christian friends, that they can actually talk to me and openly express their feelings of hurt, rejection, and anger towards a place they are afraid to step their feet into.
I think one of the main reasons is this: that in the midst of ‘serving’, in the midst of ‘ministry’, we get so caught up in all of these menial details that we forget the heart of God. Sometimes I imagine Christ in the church and whenever I do, I don’t picture Him busily doing anything. I actually see Him being amongst the broken, the weary, and those who are starving for the love of Christ. I hear the conversations that He holds and it’s never Him shoving anything down in their throats or even saying that something we’re doing is wrong. Rather, He understands. He helps us to cope and deal with whatever we may going through during a particular season of our lives. And He loves.
This is the thing though - Christ understands; and there are so many things that you and I do not understand. I used to see people stand during worship and appear to be mere shells of human beings; I saw people outright reject the love of Christ in one form or another; I witnessed people even go to the extent of cursing God and all of His followers; and of course, all of these things were met with a nice ‘What the hell are you doing?’ But then as I began to feel all of the above and more, I realized that we as the Church rarely even offer some sort of community to which these people may feel like they belong and actively try to understand what is going on beyond all of those things because if anything, let me tell you this: there is always a reason why people are the way they are - the good, the ‘bad’, the ‘ugly’.
So while the times I have been outside of the Church and felt so… dismembered from the Body have been some of the loneliest times, I am so humbled and thankful because I remember that this is what so many people outside the Church feel; and I, for one, have never believed that our work and worship within the Church was meant for just Sunday school Christians. I am grateful that my non-Christian friends don’t speak to me like some foreigner that will judge them despite the initial weary looks because I’m religious.
I guess I end with this, and I speak especially to those within the Church, including myself. If you don’t understand why those people are the way they are, maybe it’s time to walk off that pulpit, out those doors and start listening. You might be surprised to find that most of what you hear isn’t anything like what you thought; that instead, what you hear beneath what you thought was so ‘limited’ is a resounding cry for someone to just understand and love them. And that’s what I think Christ would do.
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God is just. We can see it in our personal relationships with others including family, friends, and loved ones. In our societies, governments, and even in nature: He works in mysterious and wondrous ways that I one day wish to come to know.
Happy Easter my friends! Christmas aside, I take this to actually be the most wonderful time of the year.
